Forgetting To Breathe
by Raychel
Summary: When Stiles sees Lydia on the ground, close to death, his feelings for her begin to churn again, Major Stydia as well as Season 5 Spoilers.(I OWN NOTHING) Episode 5X04
1. Forgetting To Breathe

Stiles Stilinski felt his mind go entirely blank; his heart sped up as he forgot how to breathe.

Lying on the floor was Lydia Martin, the girl he'd always counted on staying alive. Lydia wasn't allowed to die, she wasn't allowed to get so wounded that all of the life had left her face. As Kira met Stiles' eyes, he could see his own fear reflected in them. Someone pushed past Stiles, it was Theo and his first instinct was to keep him away from Lydia, reaching out for a brief moment, Stiles pulled back when he saw that Theo was going to help. A sickening feeling hit Stiles square in the chest as he saw the boy he despised, help one of his dearest friends. How dare the world be so cruel.

All of the sudden everyone faded and it was only Lydia on the ground, every time her chest rose, Stiles took a breath. Was this it? Was this how it was going to end? No... their relationship couldn't end like this, there were too many unanswered questions and they were supposed to grow up together, taking as much time as they needed to figure things out. Beacon Hills didn't care about Stiles' plan and he felt anger rip through him, he swallowed down the scream and faintly heard Scott calling out to him.

" _Don't talk to me right now,"_ Stiles thought, _"Nothing else matters, this could be Lydia's last moment alive and I can't leave her,"_

"Stiles, I'm fine," Lydia's voice broke into his thoughts and he blinked a few times, she said something else and then he heard her tell him to go. The way she smiled at him broke his heart; it was as if she knew, as if she was happy to see him before...

"Stiles," His father gripped his shoulder and Stiles had no choice but to turn away. His best friend was right behind him, leaning a shoulder to Stiles. As Stiles followed Scott, he tried to catch a grip again.

" _Don't think about Lydia dying... don't think about losing her... don't you do it,"_ Stiles yelled at himself, trying to calm his nerves. He braced himself for what else they might find.

"Scott," Stiles stopped running after his friend, causing Scott to turn around on him, "I have to go back, man."

"Stiles, she's going to be OK, we have to find Tracy, what about Malia?"

"It's Lydia, Scott," Stiles hoped that would be enough, that Scott would understand instantly and the boys eyes held onto his best friends, "Man... what if she... I can't..."

"Ok man, breathe," Scott turned soft, despite Deaton's looks of impatience.

"Lydia will be fine, Son, her mom is with her." Sheriff Stilinski told his son.

" _I_ should be with her!" Stiles couldn't help his outburst, "She never left my side once when I was so close to death I could feel it," Stiles felt frustration rise up in him, how dare no one understand how important she was to him. How important their friendship was, sure Lydia had once been the girl Stiles had loved since 3rd Grade but she'd earned a higher status when they truly go to know one another.

"What about Malia?" Scott raised the question again. Malia flashed in Stile's mind and he swallowed down a tug of guilt, "She needs you too, she's your girlfriend." As if that should have done something to Stiles, it didn't. He still felt that Lydia needed him more, Malia was tough and capable of taking care of herself. She wasn't the type of girl that needed Stiles the way Lydia did. Stiles chest began to hurt as he thought about the contrast, all of the sudden he felt like he couldn't breathe.

"Stiles?" This time it was his father who was talking to him, "Son, are you OK?"

"I think he's having a panic attack," Scott told the Sheriff, "Stiles just breathe OK? It's gonna be fine." But Stiles began to shake, his head started to turn in the direction of Lydia and before he could think he was running. His legs carried him back to the office, where Lydia now lay unconscious.

"I- I have to be here with her," was all Stiles could say to Kira and Natalie. Theo was nowhere to be found, his belt was now in the hands of Kira and she looked terrified.

"Can you help me?" Kira asked Stiles in a surprisingly weak voice. In a moment, Stiles was on his knees, grasping the belt as tight as he could. Lydia's lips moved faintly and he felt his heart rate slow down a bit, "I'm so scared," Kira whispered, "I know that everyone says she's going to be OK but..." Stiles looked at Kira, as a tear escaped her left eye.

"No matter what happens, Kira... you've done your best to help her," Stiles promised her and the girl nodded with thanks.

"Stiles?" Lydia's voice was faint but audible. Kira's eyes widened and Stiles look down at the girl, "Stiles...?"

"I'm here, Lydia," Stiles lowered his lips to her ear, "I'm here," He watched as the corners of her mouth went up slightly and he wanted to smile, he really did but he didn't have it in him. Gripping the belt tighter, he prayed that Lydia would be fine, he hoped and crossed his fingers. This wasn't how it was going to end, no way.


	2. When I Wake Up

I'm so glad you guys like the story!

Lydia Martin remembered the way his body felt next to hers, the way his fingers gripped her own, gently but strong enough to comfort her. Just hearing his breath coincide with her own was like a comfort blanket that had been wrapped around her.

" _...Lydia just hold on, OK? I'll be there when you wake up, I promise,_ " Stiles' voice was so far away and she wanted to cry out to him, she didn't want him to leave her. The bright lights inside the ambulance hurt her eyes and she heard her mother say something. The ride to the hospital wasn't as long as Lydia had expected, slipping in and out of consciousness she kept replaying what had happened. Being a banshee, she wasn't sure if she could predict her own death, however she was 90% sure she was meant to die that day. Tears formed in her eyes as she thought of the way Stiles looked when he found her. It was the reaction she'd expected; it was how she looked every moment she thought the Nogitsune had finally taken him. It was a way that Stiles had not looked at her in ages and she felt something rise up in her.

"Mom-" Lydia found her voice as the ambulance arrived at Beacon Hills Memorial.

"Shhh, try not to speak sweetie, you need to rest, OK?" Natalie shushed her, sounding tearful.

"But Mom-" Lydia persisted and her mother finally took her in.

"What is it, Honey? What's so important? This better not be a deathbed speech because you're going to be fine do you hear me?" Lydia felt a faint smile try to form over her lips but she wasn't sure if it was apparent.

"Make sure Stiles can see me, OK?" Lydia didn't feel she had the time to be shy about this, if anything, this was a time to not be scared of her feelings. What if it had been worse? What if she'd died in Kira's arms and everything she was feeling was forever unspoken? Stiles would never know how much he meant to her, Lydia couldn't take that chance. Not with everything they'd been through, she owed Stiles that much and all she could think about was telling him. Natalie's eyes flashed with confusion but she didn't question her daughter, she ran a hand over Lydia's hair and sent her a warm smile.

"I'll do everything I can, sweetie," And that was the last time Lydia saw her mother before she was rolled into the pre-operation room.

...TW... TW... TW... TW.

Stiles ignored his phone as it kept vibrating in his pocket, he didn't care who was trying to get a hold of him and all he cared about was making sure Lydia was OK. He knew that bad stuff was going down in Beacon Hills; he knew that his girlfriend probably needed to talk to him and his best friend was in need of his aid as well. Did no one understand that it was Lydia? Did everyone seem to forget how there was an unspoken rule that they were there for each other? Lydia was family and Stiles could feel his heart swell when he thought about how much he'd loved her in the past. Lydia Martin had been the most beautiful girl in the entire world to him at one point, she'd be the girl that would never be with him but he could dream. Lydia would sometimes be the only reason for Stiles getting up and going to school, especially after his mother died. Just to be in the presence of Lydia Martin was enough to make him want to enjoy life again.

Stiles knew that was a lot of responsibility to hand over to one person but there was something about Lydia, he felt it in his gut. As he drove to the hospital, he thought about the moment things changed for them both. Surprisingly it wasn't the kiss Lydia had given him in the boys' locker room only a little over a year ago, it was the night he realized how deep his feelings for her were. After admitting to Lydia how much it would kill him if she died, he watched her proclaim her love for her boyfriend Jackson at the time. That was when Stiles decided he was done. No more going after Lydia like a lovesick puppy, he'd crush those feelings and get over her. To his shock, Lydia all of the sudden became the one turning to him when she needed someone. He found himself putting her second and keeping a distance, as Lydia started to pay more attention to him, Stiles pulled away. It was after she kissed him and he saw the look on her face, was when he ran like a typical guy.

Stiles wasn't about to make himself vulnerable to her again, he refused to believe that kiss meant more even with the way Lydia stared at him like she'd just seen the light. He decided to pretend it never happened but then it was revealed that Lydia was his anchor and he felt even more exposed. After that, Stiles decided to distance himself as much as possible which wasn't too hard since he became possessed by a Nogitsune. He was blind to Lydia's devotion to him until the very last night, the way she stood at his side, wiling to risk her own life with his. All of the sudden, so many lines were crossing that Stiles wasn't sure which way was up. Their timing was never right because after Stiles went back to normal, he started seeing his current girlfriend, Malia and ended up falling in love with her.

It was a different kind of love, an innocent love, a love that he really couldn't label very well.

It wasn't the kind of love that he had for Lydia and Stiles found himself feeling terribly guilty. He felt like his heart was cheating on Malia and there was nothing he could do to stop it. There was nowhere to run or hide, Lydia needed him and he didn't have time to play games.

The hospital came into view and he heaved a sigh of relief, he was finally there and he felt strangely strong. Perhaps it was the adrenaline hitting him, he wasn't sure why but he decided not to question it.

"Stiles," Scott's voice surprised him as he entered the hospital, "Man, I've been trying to get a hold of you." Of course everyone was at the hospital, for some reason all Stiles had thought about was talking to Lydia alone.

"Yeah, I uh... I stayed with Lydia until the ambulance, then I decided to just take the jeep... get here as soon as I could, ya know?" Stiles carefully avoided Malia's eyes but he was positive she could smell the anxiety on him.

"Can we talk?" Malia's blunt question didn't seem to stun the group since she was still getting used to human cues. Stiles looked at his hands and felt his face go warm. This was a moment he'd been dreading, he just wanted to see how Lydia was doing, he could talk to Malia after.

"Later, OK?" Stiles tried to be gentle but he could tell Malia was hurt by his answer. Her eyes narrowed in rejection and she turned to Kira who gave her a sympathetic girl smile.

"OK," She replied softly and Stiles felt Scott's eyes glare into him. Stiles wasn't surprised by Scott's reaction, if anything he understood what his best friend was doing. Scott shook his head at Stiles, as if shaming him. _She's your girlfriend_ , was the look that Scott sent Stiles and Stiles mouthed back, "I know."

"Stiles," Melissa McCall said behind him and he turned to her, trying not to lose his balance.

"How bad is it?"

"It could have been worse," Melissa looked at Theo, who Stiles hadn't noticed until then, "Theo, nice going on that tourniquet you probably saved her life," Stiles held back his scoff, saved Lydia's life or not Theo was still a creep. Normally Stiles would have thanked someone for doing that but not that day. As Melissa addressed the rest of the group, Stiles was basking in the relief that Lydia was going to be alright. A new feeling of anxiety stirred in him as he thought about what he would say to her, he couldn't back down now. Too much had happened and he promised Lydia he'd be there when she woke up. All of the sudden it felt like the walls were closing in on him and he heard someone saying his name.

"Stiles?" Melissa was touching his arm, looking concerned, "You OK? You heard what I said right? Lydia's going to be just fine."

"Yeah, thank you," But Stiles could still feel the anxiety biting at him, "When is she going to be out of surgery?" When Melissa hesitated Stiles felt his heart go back up, "Melissa?"

"Look, I'm about to break hospital policy but Lydia requested that she see you the moment you got here." Without a word, she took Stiles by the wrist and led him down the long hallway. Stiles didn't look back at the group of people who were probably staring, wondering what the hell was going on. He'd answer questions later, consequences be damned, if Lydia had requested him, he was going to be there for her, "I don't know if I'll be able to let you see her once she's in the ICU, since it's family only but I know how important she is to you," Melissa paused at the double doors, "and I know how much you mean to her, you have about two minutes," Stiles was practically shoved into the per-operating room and his breath caught. It was all too real and he saw Lydia lying there, very still and very alone.

"Lydia," It was all he could say as he approached her, she became alert and turned her green eyes to his golden pair. The look of happiness on her face almost brought Stiles to tears.

"You're here," She swallowed; her hand twitching is if trying to reach for him. Before she hurt herself, Stiles met her hand with his own and she inhaled at the contact. Her body seemed to relax and she blinked up at him, "I'm going to be OK,"

"You promise?" Stiles felt his eyes drip but he didn't care, there was something so vulnerable about Lydia that made him not want to hide from her, "Lydia..."

"Shhh," Lydia looked as if she wanted to reach up and stroke his cheek but wasn't capable, "Stiles, I was so scared tonight," she began softly, "I was so worried that I would fall asleep before you got there, I held on... and I just... I couldn't leave you behind like that," a thin layer of tears formed in her eyes and Stiles used his free hand to gently brush them away, "you once told me that you would go out of your mind if I died and..." Lydia paused to smile up at him, "I couldn't be the reason for you losing it, now could I?" It was at that moment that Stiles wanted to pull her into his arms, run his hands through her hair and comfort her.

"I'm so sorry," Stiles wasn't sure what he was apologizing for but he couldn't stop the words, "I'm sorry I've been so stupid," He stopped talking when he heard voices outside of the room, his two minutes was up and he had to go.

"I'll see you when I wake up," Lydia promised him and he nodded, resisting the urge to lay a kiss on her cheek. It wasn't time for that yet; he needed to think before he dove right in. Practically stumbling into a chair, he turned to face the EXIT door and lunged into a deserted hallway. It was dimly lit and reminded him of the hallway he walked when he went Void. Chills ran up his arms and he turned to find his way back to his friends, they were all sitting in the waiting room. Stiles forgot about the tears dried on his cheeks until Kira rushed over to hug him, she'd been there to witness the exchange between Stiles and Lydia. She had sat with Lydia, keeping her wound closed; she'd been through a lot too that night. Stiles ignored the strange looks the duo got as they hugged it out, once Kira let him go, she was in Scott's arm almost immediately.

"It's been a tough night for everyone," Stiles said to him and Scott just nodded in agreement.

"We should probably get home," Malia said to Stiles and he nodded at her, "I was thinking of walking...or..."

"Don't be ridiculous, ride home with me and if my Jeep acts up you'll get to walk home anyway," Stiles understood why Malia was acting the way she was. She was probably sensing a change in his chemistry and wasn't sure to make of it.

"Are you sure Stiles? Because I think you're upset with me or..."

"What? No... I..." Stiles stopped talking so he could take a deep breath, "Let's just go home alright?"

"I can give her a ride," Theo's voice was like a fly in Stiles ear that he could not get rid of.

"Excuse me?" Stiles narrowed his eyes at the new boy.

"If you need some time, Man... I can give Malia a ride,"

"NO." Stiles protested.

"OK." Malia answered at the same time. The tension in the air went from 4 to 10 in less than a few seconds.

"What?" Stiles couldn't believe his ears.

"Stiles, you seem like you need some time alone and I don't wanna impede or anything. Besides, I was telling Theo about the guys in Masks that I saw and he said that he might know what I'm talking about." No one said anything as Theo walked past Stiles and looked at Malia, "I'll see you later," She looked down at her feet before following Theo.

"If you're going to leave with Theo then you might as well have him drop you off at your Dad's house, OK?" Stiles felt his entire body go rigid as he glared at her.

"I don't wanna cause any trouble," Theo spoke up and Stiles sneered at him.

"It's too late for that,"

"Fine. Come on Theo," Malia turned on her heal and led the way out, Theo hurrying after her.

"Stiles-" Scott began but Stiles shook his head.

"I'll call you later," And with that Stiles was out of the hospital and headed to his Jeep, feeling like he'd just been shoved off the cloud Lydia had put him on.

PLEASE REVIEW! I Love reviews :D They motivated me. Thanks so much, catch me on Twitter Teen_Wolf_Oasis


	3. Visiting Hours

It was 4 AM when Stiles decided he would head to the hospital, Lydia would be awake any moment and he didn't want to break his promise to her. He didn't care about hospital policy, where there was a ladder and window there was a way. He would dress in scrubs if he had to or feign illness to gain access; he would do anything to keep his word to Lydia.

Stiles attempted to be quiet is he tip toed down the rickety stairs of his house, he could hear birds chirping outside and it felt awfully out of place for Beacon Hills.

"Sneaking off to the hospital so soon?"

"JESUS," Stiles jumped a foot in the air when his father came into view. Sheriff Stilinski was sitting at the kitchen table, reading the morning newspaper and sipping a cup of black coffee.

"Stiles, you know only family are allowed into the ICU." His father reminded him knowing very well that Stiles already knew this information.

"That depends on how you look at it," Stiles shrugged as he straightened out his shirt and checked his hair in the kitchen mirror.

"Then pray tell Son, what do you know that I don't?" Hearing the skepticism in his father's voice made Stiles feel a bit wounded.

"I _am_ family," Stiles insisted without looking at the Sheriff. He waited for his father's reply and he only heard a huge sigh, "Look, I know it seems messy and out of the blue but-"

"What about Malia?" Sheriff Stilinski reminded his son, "Did you all of the sudden set her aside for... Lydia? I thought you were over her."

"I _am_ over her," Stiles insisted, "I'm over her in the way the sixteen year old kid once had a crush, OK?" Stiles met his father's eyes, "I don't expect you to understand, Dad." He admitted.

"I'm afraid I understand all too well and that's why I'm trying to protect you, Stiles." He set his paper down to focus on his son, "Don't throw away something solid for something possible. I watched you go down this road with Lydia so many times and every time you got your heart broken," The Sheriff now stood to fully face Stiles, "I don't want to see you break Malia's heart just to watch you crumble away after it doesn't work out with Lydia."

"Dad, I'm not marrying Lydia and I'm not breaking up with Malia. I'm still trying to figure all of this out," Stiles held his hands up in surrender to his father, "So if you could save the lecture for after I screw up that would be great," Realizing he was through with this exchange Stiles turned to leave but a hand gripped his shoulder.

"That's what I'm trying to prevent here. Please don't go to the hospital, just wait for normal visiting hours and work on talking to Malia." Stiles felt gratitude for his father at that very moment. His Dad was trying to do the right thing as a parent; he was trying to tell his son what to do. It was like trying to tell someone to not go out in shark infested waters because they would get attacked but they go swimming anyway. Stiles was about to dive headfirst into a shark tank and his father didn't want to have to witness the mess.

"I love you, Dad." Stiles told him before grabbing the keys to his Jeep and rushing to the vehicle. He ignored his father's calls after him as the Jeep roared to life, Stiles could even swear he saw his Dad run out after him, "Sorry Dad but I made a promise."

...TW...TW ...TW ...TW

The hospital room smelled familiar as Lydia began to wake up. Her eyelids felt heavy and impossible to lift before she finally got them open. There was a clock on her wall that read 5:10 and a light over her that flickered due to old age. Lydia wiggled her fingers, trying to feel if anyone was holding her hand and she felt a pang of sadness when she realized she was alone.

"Mom?" Lydia tried to call out but her voice sounded as though it hadn't been used in months, "Hello?" There wasn't an answer and Lydia felt feelings of abandonment consume her.

"Lydia?" His voice was so low she wasn't sure it was real and Lydia tried to move her head to the right, "Shhh don't try to move, it's OK." In an instant he was above her and his eyes were staring down at Lydia as he scanned her face as if memorizing every line.

"Stiles?"

"I'm not supposed to be here, I kind of snuck in so I don't know how I long we have," Stiles kept his voice low and she felt her lips form a genuine smile. Tears of relief began to collect in the corners of her eyes and Stiles frowned.

"Hey, don't cry... why are you crying?" Stiles looked her up and down, "Does something hurt?"

"I'm not in pain, silly," Lydia cried, "I'm happy to see you." Her confession caused Stiles to relax and his smile matched her own.

"Lydia?" Natalie's voice startled Stiles slightly, "Stiles, what on earth are you doing here?" Lydia's breath caught as she gripped Stiles' hand that was on her cheek.

"I got lost?" Stiles attempted and Natalie shut the hospital door. She gave them both a reprimanding look, "I just wanted to be here when she woke up." Stiles explained as he took a step away from Lydia's bed.

"No," Lydia gasped hoarsely.

"Lydia, Honey I'm so sorry but Stiles has to leave; he's not family." Natalie had a look of compassion on her face that was mixed with regret.

"Yes he is," Lydia croaked, "He is family," she didn't stop the tears that were now flowing out of her eyes, "Mom, please let him stay."

"It's not up to me, Lydia and if it was I would be the first to ask for an extra chair." Natalie walked to her daughter's bedside and looked down at her, "Please don't cry." Stiles had his own tears in his eyes as he watched Lydia's heart break with the fear of his absence.

"Promise me you'll be back the moment I can have visitors, OK?" Lydia turned her attention to the boy on her right side who was beside himself with worry, "I'm so sorry for crying like this," She shut her eyes in embarrassment but opened them again when she heard Stiles chuckle, "What?" She implored and he squeezed her cheek with his right hand before wiping away her tears.

"I wouldn't worry about it because you're really beautiful when you cry, remember?" His words caused comfort to course through her body and she savored his lips pressed against her forehead in a good bye kiss. The moment his fingers left hers, she felt cold and she held back sobs as he quietly left the room.

"Dammit," Lydia cursed despite herself causing Natalie to look at her in surprise, "Sorry Mom I'm just... I know this is going to get messy, I can feel it." Lydia admitted, focusing on a cracked ceiling tile.

"Isn't he seeing the Tate girl?"

"Yes, Mom," Lydia held back a bite in her voice.

"I'm sure you don't want to hear my advice but..."

"You're right I don't." Lydia confirmed with butterflies dancing in her stomach.

"Well you're going to get some anyway." Natalie pulled the plastic visitor chair up to Lydia's bed and sat down, "Do you really want to be the _Other Girl_?"

"Excuse me?" Lydia's eyes narrowed in response and she immediately regretted it. Her head began to throb and she groaned, "Mom, it's not like that OK? Stiles has been a good friend for a while now, I can't explain to you why it is that I need him." Lydia's voice drifted away as she thought about the emotional tether, the invisible string that connected her with Stiles. She told herself it was a Banshee thing at first but when she realized she didn't have it with anyone else she knew there was something special about Stiles. The way she knew whenever he was happy or worried or if he was close, it used to scare Lydia how much she felt Stiles. At some point it became comfort and stability, she came to count on their contact. Something in their connection seemed to spark when she was lying on the ground, waiting for death to collect her. The moment she laid eyes on Stiles her strength was recharged and she felt whole again.

"Have you asked yourself why you need him?" Natalie dared to ask and Lydia turned her gaze on her mother. She couldn't answer that question out loud because she already knew, they were connected and that was why. It was then that Lydia thought about it and a new feeling rose up in her.

"Oh." Was all Lydia could say and she could feel her mother smiling at her.

"If it's any consolation, I'm pretty positive that he feels the same way about you. The way he looks at you is just, well it's magical." Natalie took her daughters hand and gave her a reassuring smile, "Just make sure he ends it with the other girl before starting something with you."

"MOTHER," Lydia was appalled by her mother's insinuation.

"What? Are you really going to lay there and tell me that you're not going to do anything about this?" Natalie paused and waited for a reply that never came, "Oh Lydia, you can't do that to yourself. Trust me I have been there and it's a miserable road. You don't want to go through life loving someone else while being with wrong person." Her mother's words hit Lydia deep and she shifted her body as a way to process the information.

"He's with Malia," Lydia reminded Natalie and the woman rolled her eyes.

"Don't you think it might be fair to Malia if Stiles admitted how he truly feels?"

"I don't even know if he feels the same way anymore," Lydia practically whispered, "It's been so long since he's had a crush on me and that's all it was Mom."

"Honey, crushes don't last this long and from what I've seen that boy go through for you... well, he loves you." Someone else had confirmed it and Lydia felt her insides go tight. Her own mother was telling her something she already suspected and it all became very real. Was it possible that the feelings she had for Stiles were love? She'd never felt this way about any other boy, certainly not Jackson or Aiden. Yes, she loved them both very much but Stiles was the only boy she trusted with every inch of her soul. It was a scary and vulnerable feeling and she didn't like it.

"I guess um... I guess I'm going to have to talk to him." The words escaped Lydia's mouth and she bit her lip with apprehension. All of the sudden she was grateful for the family/friends visiting hours. She wanted to prepare what she would say to Stiles, how she would say it. Lydia still had no idea what actual feelings she had for him. Her vision began to blur and she realized she was sleepy again.

"Rest up Sweetie, I'll be here when you wake up." Comforted by Natalie's words Lydia fell into a deep sleep filled with dreams of past loves and loves to be.


	4. Letters

AN: Sorry about the delay! I've been sick with some type of flu and it's been hard to write with such a high fever, here is a new chapter!

Stiles didn't go to school that day, which felt strange because he should have liked the distraction but there was something keeping him at home to ponder the events that had taken place in the past 12 hours. The way Lydia had gazed at him, how her fingers had felt grasping his own and the undeniable fear she had expressed over losing him.

At one point in his life, Stiles would have given anything to have Lydia Martin look at him with that kind of intensity. A photo on his bedroom wall caught his eye and Stiles was pulled back into reality. Malia had not existed at the time his love for Lydia was at its peak but she was a part of his reality now. If a few years ago someone had told Stiles he'd be torn between two girls in his Senior Year of high school, he would have had them committed to Eichen House. Stiles didn't believe he'd ever have options other than Lydia; it never occurred to him that he was attractive to girls. Then all of the sudden Malia was there offering him support in his most vulnerable time of need.

As if life was attempting to complicate matters more for Stiles his phone began to vibrate bringing him back to the present.

"Hello?" Stiles didn't bother to check the caller I.D. and cursed himself for it.

"Stiles? Why aren't you at school?" It was Melissa McCall on the other line and Stiles's heart skipped a beat. Busted, he was positive he'd be getting a call from his father next after Melissa informed the Sheriff of his hooky playing son.

"Taking a sick day," Stiles shot up from his bed only to be greeted by a head rush, "How's Lydia?"

"She's doing just fine, I was calling to leave you a message to let you know she'll be able to receive visitors today at five" An explosion of relief poured through Stiles and he let out a breath he'd been holding, "Her vitals are wonderful and she should be able to leave tomorrow. We're keeping her another night for observation." There was a hesitant pause before Melissa continued, "Just be careful Stiles."

"Be careful as in 'this is Beacon Hills' or be careful with that other thing?" Stiles was becoming wary of all the parenting going on with regards to his feelings for Lydia. Why couldn't adults take the hint that sometimes teenagers just needed to screw up hundreds of times before they learned for themselves?

"Well, of course always be careful in Beacon Hills but also be careful with that heart of yours. Now I know your father has probably talked to you and-"

"Melissa, as much as I appreciate your concern because I really do. I think you're just gonna have to let me figure this out on my own." Stiles grasped for patience as he listened to Melissa sigh over the phone.

"Well I had to try," She sighed, "I do hope things work out for you, Kiddo." Melissa chuckled lightly, "I just worry about you."

"Thank you for worrying," Stiles responded sincerely, "but I think I've got this. I'll see you at five, thanks for the call." He hit the End button before he received any more lectures. As much as Stiles appreciated how much everyone seemed to care, he couldn't help but feel a bit discouraged. Was it possible he was only seeing what he wanted to see? Lying back down on his bed he watched a cloud of dust escape his pillow and coughed, he really needed to clean his sheets.

"Stiles?" Malia's voice was unexpected and Stiles felt the entire room shift.

"Malia," Stiles exclaimed as though Malia had just caught him writing a love poem to Lydia.

"What are you doing here? Why aren't you at school?" Suspicion mixed with concern filled Malia's eyes and Stiles cleared his throat knowing how difficult it was to lie to a were-coyote.

"I could ask you the same thing," Stiles countered causing Malia to flush slightly. Stiles waited for the outburst but it never came, instead Malia took a hesitant seat on the foot of his bed. Once his surprise from her appearance faded Stiles found himself feeling angry with her.

"Stiles-," Malia began.

"How was-" Stiles started at the same time and they both fell back into silence. A strange tension permeated the room and Stiles sat up so that he was eye level with his girlfriend, "I think it's safe to say that we need to talk." If Malia had been your run of the mill, normal teenage girl she would have flinched and understood what those words meant.

"OK, yeah let's talk," Her enthusiasm sent a surge of guilt through Stiles that he had a hard time bearing. As he fished for words he could see that Malia was picking up on his sent, "What's wrong? Why is your heart beating so fast and why do you look like you're going to be sick?" Whatever hope that had been in Malia's features a few moments ago dissipated. Fear and concern entered her eyes and she stood up from the bed, "Oh my God." She breathed in disbelief.

"What?" Stiles, not sure what to say, stood so he could counter her steps. Hands shaking from anxiety and adrenaline due the news he was about to break to Malia, Stiles swallowed down a cry. The words kept getting stuck in his throat and Stiles thought of how much easier it would be to not tell Malia. If he could only set the feelings aside and never address them again he would.

"You want to break up," Malia's eyes filled with tears so fast it was like a spout had sprung a leak inside her head.

"No, that's not what I want." Stiles insisted his voice coming out shakier then he had intended, "Lee, it's so much more complicated than that, OK? I _do_ love you." It was true, Stiles did love Malia even though it was different from the way he loved Lydia. The ultimate truth was that the love Stiles had for Lydia would never measure to anyone else. Lydia had a special place in his heart and it was much bigger than he had realized.

"No," Malia backed away from him, "Don't say that Stiles, you wouldn't want to be as far away from me as possible if you loved me," Just as Malia had become upset she shifted into an eerily calm state, "Look, I just came over to leave something for you so... here." She reached into her jacket and pulled out an envelope.

"Let's talk about this," Stiles took a step towards her, ignoring the letter and Malia shook her head.

"No, I don't want to talk about anything with you right now. I can smell how you feel and you feel is like you need space from me." Stiles finally took the letter Malia was holding out and she recoiled from him towards the door.

"What is this?" Stiles' voice went cold.

"Theo wanted me to give it to you." At the sound of Theo's name Stiles felt anger boil in his chest like a volcano that had been waiting to erupt.

"Oh did he?" Stiles didn't mask the hatred laced in his voice.

"Yes." Malia swallowed as she gave him a challenging glare.

"Since when did you become Theo's messenger?" Stiles suddenly forgot to feel bad for hurting Malia's feelings. Images flashed through his mind of them sitting cozy together, laughing and discussing the Doctors Malia had claimed to have seen, "I don't want it." Stiles held the letter back to her and she frowned.

"He said it's important and that you need to read it so you can-" but she was cut off by a huge ripping sound, shreds of paper fell silently to the floor and Stiles felt no guilt. In fact a part of him only felt satisfaction at the tiny sense of control over destroying something from Theo.

"I don't care what Theo has to say, you know I don't trust him and to be quite honest I don't think you're safe around him, " Stiles admitted, "Also at the risk of sounding like a jealous boyfriend I don't like that you're hanging out with him." For a moment Stiles turned soft in an attempt to get through to Malia but all he saw were blank eyes starting back at him.

"Then I guess it's a good thing you're not my boyfriend anymore." Malia turned on her heal and left Stiles in a state of shock. A part of him was in utter disbelief that she had just said those words.

"Malia!" Stiles called after her but only the slam of the front door answered him. The very real comprehension that Stiles and Malia had just broken up hit him like a wave crashing onto shore. Falling back on his bed Stiles felt tears fill his eyes and a type of emptiness washed over him. All of the sudden he understood sacrifices of the heart and he wiped his tears away, "I'm all out of excuses." Stiles cried out to the room. It was true; there was no longer anything distracting him from how he felt about Lydia. The emotions hit him square in the chest and traveled through out his entire body.

An urge to go after Malia nudged Stiles but he slapped it away, she needed time and there was nothing he could say to change anything. The last thing she needed was for him to keep lying to her as well as lying to himself. Stiles took few deep grounding breaths and thought about Lydia.

Glancing over at the clock, Stiles decided he needed to figure out everything he was going to say before 5PM. Being with Lydia had never been a concrete possibility before and now here he was about to take the next step. Stiles found himself frozen with fear when he thought about actually talking to her. It was the kind of fear he hadn't felt since sophomore year, a time where a chance to be around Lydia sent hundreds of Butterflies free in his stomach. It amazed him at how far their relationship had come and how much Stiles had pulled away from her. The realization caused a tiny ache in his heart but he forced it aside. There was no time for reflection, not when he lived in a place like Beacon Hills. Sure, Lydia was out of the woods now but next time, if there was a next time, might not be such a happy ending.

Stiles abandoned his bed to take a seat at his desk where he tore out a piece of paper from his notebook. Grabbing a pen that Lydia had given him he stared at the blank piece of paper and before he knew it he was writing her a letter.

 _Dear Lydia,_

 _Let me start with saying this: The moment I saw you lying on the ground was the same moment I remembered_ us. _I don't remember exactly when but I think I started to take you for granted, Lydia so please forgive me for that. After so many years of rejection I decided to back off and let you figure things out on your own. I backed away so much that I somehow forgot the magic of you. When you smiled and told me you were fine, I saw the look in your eyes. It's how you've always looked at me that past year but I never looked back until now. I'm sorry that it took you almost dying (again) for me to come to my senses. The truth is, Lydia... I love you. I've always loved you and the love I have for you has evolved. I went from a hopelessly love sick boy to a man who's came to understand what true tangible love is. The kind of love where I know how it feels to hold you in my arms and keep you safe, the looks you send me are a reminder of how much you trust me. My love for you never went away; it just took the backseat for a little while. I can't lose you Lydia and by the way you look at me I know you can't lose me either. It's funny because a couple of years ago I would have known what to say to you or how to talk you into hanging out with me. I would have known where to take you on our first date if I had asked and you had said yes... now here I am completely clueless as to what to do next. I don't know... maybe we should wait until we graduate to act on our feelings... as we both know it's hard as hell to keep a stable relationship in Beacon Hills so-_

Stiles abruptly stopped writing and read his note a few times before crumpling up the paper and throwing it in his waste basket. The idea of pouring his entirely unguarded heart out to Lydia terrified Stiles. A sense of vulnerability poured over him and Stiles decided he needed some fresh air. Staying cooped up in his house with his racing thoughts was only going to drive him insane; he'd drive around Beacon Hills until visiting hours or catch a movie.

"Just in case." Stiles mumbled as he crouched down to grab the discarded letter. He'd use it as a reference for the real note and leaving it lying around wasn't a smart idea. After showering and changing his clothes, Stiles took one last look at himself in the mirror. There was something different about him but he couldn't pinpoint what, it wasn't necessarily a bad different but something was definitely amiss. Taking a step closer Stiles saw something familiar in his eyes and it was like looking at an old photograph. There was something newly soft about his features, a type of innocence and Stiles felt a smile spread over his lips. The love he'd been hiding for Lydia was now shining and all fear swept out of his mind. Reaching into his pocket, Stiles felt the unfinished love letter and he knew how he was going to utilize the next few hours.


	5. Fine

Lydia surfed through TV channels mindlessly, waiting for a program that would calm her nerves but there was nothing. A nurse came in to take her vitals and commented on how Lydia's heart rate was slightly elevated.

"Are you feeling alright, Lydia?" Nurse Miller gave her a concerned stare.

"Fine." Lydia lied with a bright smile on her face but the nurse wasn't convinced.

"Anything you wanna talk about?"

"No, I told you that I'm fine." Lydia kept smiling as if that would close her case.

"It's normal to have some anxiety after an incident like yours." The nurse was now taking her time as if Lydia was her one and only patient in the entire world. Didn't the nurse have a whole floor to tend to? Lydia prayed for someone to hit a "call" button.

"Look, I told you I'm fine... in fact I feel a bit redundant every time I insist that I'm..." Lydia fished for another word.

"-Fine?" The nurse offered and Lydia sighed in agreement. There was a pregnant pause before Nurse Miller stood up, "Well if there's anything you need to talk about, I'm here until Five." At the mention of Five o'clock, Lydia was positive she gave herself away. All of the sudden she felt like she was going to be sick from all of the butterflies making a home in her stomach, she wanted to get out of the hospital bed and check her hair for the millionth time. The nurse shoved a bed pan below Lydia's chin and waited.

"What. Are. You. Doing?" Lydia gave the Nurse a puzzled look.

"You looked like you were about to be sick." Moving her chin away from the receptacle, Lydia gave the nurse a reassuring look.

"No, I just was feeling a bit anxious but I'm good now. Next time I look like that just shove a foreign object in my face and I'll be cured." The butterflies had flown away and Lydia was only feeling guilt from talking in a cross manner to the kind woman who'd helped her so much when Melissa McCall was off duty.

"I'll put a note in your chart." Nurse Miller winked at Lydia before exiting the hospital room. Lydia wasn't sure if the nurse had been serious or just teasing her, either way she was grateful for the temporary distraction. Stiles popped into her head and she urged herself to stay calm. For some reason it had been so easy for Lydia to pour her heart out and open up when she had been injured and scared. It's like when you tell someone you love them because you're about to die, you don't think about later, you just feel and Lydia had definitely done her fair share of letting her feelings run amok.

"Why is love so complicated?" Lydia asked herself, "Why can't things just be simple?" Before she could freak out more, Natalie entered the room with a suitcase and a make up bag.

"Hi Honey." Natalie's cheery disposition would make anyone think she wasn't visiting her child in a hospital.

"Mom, why aren't you at the School?" Lydia eyed the contents in her Mother's arms as she got closer to her, "Is that what I think it is?"

"I took off Work, of course and don't worry I have paid leave so we're not suffering from this financially," Natalie set the suitcase down at the foot of Lydia's bed, "I figured you'd like to look your best tonight." Unzipping the bag, she unveiled a few of Lydia's favorite outfits, the majority of them blue, "You told me once that you liked to wear blue because it's his favorite color." Tears pooled in Lydia's eyes as she realized what her Mother had done for her.

"Mom... I can't believe you did this." Natalie handed her daughter a few tissues as she dabbed her own eyes.

"Sweetheart, I know how much Stiles means to you and I also know how much your wardrobe does," They shared a tiny chuckle; "I bet you're freaking out right now aren't you?"

"How'd you guess?" Lydia smirked, sitting up so she could look through her outfits.

"Because you're about to change your life," At the sound of Natalie's answer, Lydia turned to look at her mother, "Lydia, great love is very rare. I've seen the boyfriends you've had and I've also seen the way Stiles Stilinski has always treated you. To tell you the truth I've always rooted for Stiles, I hoped that one day you would wake up and realize what was right in front of you," Natalie set a hand on her daughter's cheek, "Let yourself be happy, Lydia. Let yourself feel complete and don't be afraid of it."

"I'm so glad I don't have any makeup on because it would be running so much right now." Lydia sniffled as she pulled Natalie into a hug, "Thank you, Mom."

"You're welcome sweetie, I love you." After a few moments of hugging, Natalie pulled away to examine Lydia's face. "Will you let me do your hair?"

"Of course."

TW TW TW...

Stiles stared at the elevator doors, willing them to stay shut. How had he been ready all day long and now that it was 5:01PM he felt like he couldn't breathe. Maybe he could ride the elevator until 6PM, prepare himself for the exchange but then he thought about how Lydia might get hurt if he was late. Stiles was stuck and he could only go through with it. The elevator dinged, letting him know he'd made it to his destination and his hands broke out into a cold sweat.

"Stiles," Kira greeted him with surprise, she was sitting in a chair, holding pink and purple flowers looking terrified. Forgetting his anxiety, Stiles made his way to her, silently grateful for the hindrance.

"Hey, Kira... what are you doing here?"

"Visiting hours are at Five right? So here I am... at Five," Before Stiles could respond Kira was rambling, "I got her flowers, they only had pink and purple flowers so I hope she likes them. Even though I know her favorite color is red but she'll like these, right?"

"Uh yeah," Stiles nodded and Kira smiled.

"Good because I don't know what I would do if she didn't like them. Scott said he would come see Lydia after work and I told him that I would be here at Five. So here I am... at Five."

"You said that already," Stiles felt his heart melt.

"Did I? Oh... right I did," Kira swallowed, "I've actually been here since Four." She admitted giving Stiles a guilty smile, "I don't know if you can tell but I'm really nervous, Stiles." Holding back a witty comment, Stiles took a seat next to her and reached his hand out towards her. She looked at it for a moment before giving him a confused look.

"Give me your hand," Stiles told her with a reassuring smile, "I promise that I won't steal it, I just wanna borrow it for a second." He watched as Kira set her hand in his and she flinched, "Oh sorry about that, yeah I'm a bit nervous myself." He had forgotten about his clammy hands. Grasping his hand tightly, a smile erupted over Kira's face letting him know it was OK.

"So why am I holding your hand? Other then making a few people jealous."

"It's so you know that you're not alone," Stiles gave her hand a squeeze; "I know that you were all alone when Lydia got injured and it makes sense that you're nervous. If I'm right you also feel a little bit guilty."

"How did you know?" Kira asked with heavy curiosity.

"I know because I've been there. You think to yourself that... if they die you'll never forgive yourself. That even though you did everything possible, you still lost them," Kira's silence was confirmation Stiles had been right so he kept going, "We didn't lose Lydia that night."

"I could have used my belt," Kira broke, "I should have thought about that, not Theo." Kira admitted, cutting off Stiles' circulation, "I just... I couldn't think. What happens if someone else gets hurt and they die because I didn't think?"

"Kira, I didn't even think of that, OK? I was right there with you, in shock. I think the reason Theo thought so clearly was because he's not close to Lydia. He wasn't emotionally affected like the rest of us." Stiles watched as the tension left Kira's face and before he knew it she was pulling him into a hug.

"Thank you so much, Stiles." Kira whispered into his ear, "Now it's my turn... why are you so nervous?" Kira took her hand back and Stiles gave her a hesitant look. Would Kira take Malia's side or would she understand? Stiles hoped that Kira would stay opened minded and he cleared his throat.

"Do you know the history of me and Lydia?" Stiles began and Kira shrugged thoughtfully.

"You guys have been friends since Elementary School, right?" Kira offered and Stiles couldn't help the snort that came out.

"Uh... not really, I mean we've known each other since then so that part is correct but there's way more to the story then anyone but Scott and Lydia really know." Stiles paused, wondering if he was ready to take a stroll down memory lane.

"You know what I think? I think that if you tell me all about it, it will calm your nerves. You can even pull strength from it because Stiles, I'm not an idiot. I know that you love Lydia and I know that she loves you too. So the question I have for you is... what are so nervous about?" Kira's inquiry made any tension Stiles had in his body fall away. It was like someone had put a pin into his balloon of anxiety and let all of the air out. Shifting in his hair to face Kira, Stiles began to tell her the story of his feelings for Lydia, letting fear and logic leave the room.

AN: I decided to make this chapter a light one since we've had so much darkness going on.


	6. Colors

**Third Grade:**

Stiles recalled the first time he laid eyes on Lydia Martin and it was at that moment he knew he'd found the girl he would marry one day. At the same time boys his age were dreaming of what sport they would play during recess or where their father's were dragging them to on Career day. Stiles was planning on winning Lydia Martin's heart, no matter how long it took him. His heart was set on the strawberry blonde who gave him her last red crayon. It was Art day so the class was assigned to draw their most prized possession, no matter how big or small, strange or normal it was, the idea was to draw something each student held dearly to their heart.

That year Stiles had been obsessed with fire trucks; his aspiration to be a firefighter one day was stronger than ever. He found something so miraculous about a huge contraption had the ability to save lives. His mother also enjoyed fire trucks, strangely enough. One evening during visiting hours at Beacon Hills Memorial, Stiles found a toy fire engine in a chair; with no other children around, Stiles saved the toy from abandonment. Eager to show his mother the treasure he'd acquired, Claudia Stilinski's reaction exceeded Stiles' expectations. The way her eyes lit up and a smile of nostalgia came over her face; she became lucid enough to tell her son how brave firefighters were and she admired them like she admired her husband.

"Your father devotes his life to save other people, Stiles. So do firemen, I can't exactly remember when or why but a fireman helped me when I was a little girl... I respect them so much." The look of happiness made Stiles decide that one day he would grow up to make his mother proud. The way she looked at the fire truck, with a smile on her face, as if she was having a happy childhood memory and her eyes shut blissfully before falling into a deep sleep.

"Don't you worry, Mom... I promise to make you proud until the day I stop breathing" Stiles had vowed, like a child determined that he was going to make it to the Moon one day. A nudge to Stiles' shoulder brought him back to the present.

"Darn it, I'm out of black. Stiles, do you have a black crayon?" His best friend Scott McCall, who was drawing his puppy Midnight, asked him. Stiles glanced at the drawing and it looked like Scott was attempting to stay true to the dog's name. Stiles looked in his Crayola box for a black crayon or any color close enough to black, as he did so he came to a horrifying realization.

"I'm all out of red." Stiles let Scott know, who gave him a puzzled look.

"Yeah, but do you have any black?" Scott's mind stayed on one track.

"No, all I have is green... who needs this much green, honestly?" Stiles pondered if he could play the abstract card and color his firetruck green.

"So just combine pink and... and... what two colors make red?" Stiles ignored his friend's suggestion and sighed with exasperation.

"Dude, I need more red to finish my fire truck, I wanna hang it in my mom's hospital room." Even though they were in elementary school, Scott never made fun of his best friend. He stayed understanding when it came to the serious matters.

"I don't have red either," Scott told him sympathetically, "That assignment last week on the different shades of Apples killed me."

"Well I need to find a red crayon," Stiles felt his mind go frantic and he fished through the box, coming across a flash of black, he picked it up and tossed it to Scott.

"Thanks, Buddy!" As Scott went back to coloring, Stiles couldn't help but feel the sting of failure. Determined to find someone who had a spare red crayon, Stiles stood from his desk and looked around at his classmates who were either done or scribbling away. Who knew that red was such a popular color; it seemed that every student had a prized possession was also red. Feeling defeated, Stiles began to think of other things he could color and ignored the sinking of his heart. Deciding check his cubby, he passed the girl he loved as much as a puppy love allowed but couldn't bring himself to notice her at that moment.

"Why aren't you coloring, Stiles?" Lydia's voice was a shock to Stiles' ears and he became flustered for a moment. He yelled at himself to play it cool so he gulped and turned to face her.

"I-..." Stiles began to feel his throat get tight. Lydia sat there, totally immersed in her drawing, waiting for Stiles to answer.

"Are you out of a color or something?" Lydia's question made Stiles give her an odd look. Did Lydia actually notice him or had she deduced from the situation that he had run out of a color.

"Actually, yeah but it's no big deal, really its fine." Stiles didn't want the girl he loved to think he cared about such minute details.

"What color do you need?" Lydia asked and Stiles felt his face flush.

"Red," He answered, trying to stay calm, "I wanna hang it in my mom's hospital room so... ya know I kind of need it to be perfect." Stiles had no idea why he was admitting such a thing to Lydia but the moment he did, the girl gave him an understanding look.

"I guess I can give myself pink hair in this picture," Lydia accessed her work, "Pink is close enough to red, right?" She looked up at Stiles and he couldn't help but smile at her. Lydia was coloring a picture of her dog playing fetch with her.

"I always thought you had more of a strawberry blonde color so... add some yellow and it would be perfect."Stiles stomach turned from his admission but Lydia only smiled at him with a look of gratitude.

"I have one red crayon left and... you can have it." Lydia turned shy, "I know that if my mom wasn't around, I'd want to make sure every reminder she had of me was perfect." As Lydia Martin handed Stiles the crayon he was positive the smile on his face way a dead give away of how much loved her.

"Thanks." Was all Stiles could say before turning to go back to this desk.

"Hey, Stiles?" Lydia called after him and he turned in his tracks.

"You wouldn't happen to have any green would you?"

 **Present Moment:**

"Wow," Kira breathed out when Stiles finished the crayon story, "That has got to be the sweetest thing I have ever heard."

"As my mom got worse, I just focused on how amazing Lydia made me feel. I know it's weird to be that little and feel that way but I don't know, she's always made me feel right." Stiles admitted and Kira gave him a knowing smile.

"I bet you two are soul mates," Kira gave him a dreamy smile, accompanied with a nod of confirmation.

"You actually believe in that kind of stuff?" Even as Stiles posed the question, he realized how ridiculous it had sounded, "Right never mind, my best friend is a werewolf, you're a kitsune and the girl I love is a Banshee. Why can't there by soul mates?"

"I mean think about it, Stiles... there can't only be bad supernatural things in this world. There has to be some good to balance it out, right?" Kira sounded like Scott and Stiles sent her a gracious smile, "You know what? I think you should go in there right now and tell her how you feel. Don't hold back, just be open and don't be afraid to put your heart on the line, OK?" But Stiles didn't move, instead he just sat there, thoughts of everything that could go wrong invading his thoughts, "Stiles?" Kira searched his face, "Stiles... ohno, please don't chicken out now. You've come so far!"

"Do you have any idea how many times I have put my heart on the line for that girl?" His voice came out in a whisper that held emotions that were still lingering from the fourth grade, "There's this tiny part of me that just... keeps telling me that it's all a dream. That I might wake up and Malia is going to be right next to me and all of these emotions have awakened." As Stiles spoke to Kira, he didn't look at her, he could only keep his eyes on his fingers. Counting them over and over again, to make sure he was awake. He didn't notice someone come up behind him until he felt the soft touch that could only belong to Lydia.

"You're late," Her voice held nothing but love and there was no sign of annoyance. Stiles felt his entire body go warm and every anxiety that had plagued him dissolved. Everything but Lydia's touch faded away, the hospital waiting room, the sounds of machines, even Kira sitting next to him. All Stiles could feel was Lydia and all of the sudden the missing piece he'd been feeling was back. Without a word, Stiles reached over to set his left hand on her right. Their fingers entwined and as she squeezed him he felt a type of calm enter his body. Lydia was giving him strength and she probably didn't know it but it meant everything to Stiles. Lydia Martin was his anchor and there was nothing on earth that would ever change that.

"You know me," Stiles turned his head to the right so he was talking into their joined hands; "I love to make an entrance." As if his subtle resistance to her was a trigger for Lydia she was pulling on his hand and Stiles pushed himself from the chair. He was positive Kira had said something but he had not made it out. Lydia turned so that she was leading him down the hallway past hospital rooms.

"We just passed your room, Lydia." Stiles told her, breaking out of his trance momentarily.

"I know, silly. We're using the sun room to visit ii, I wouldn't dream of our first serious talk happening in that dreary old hospital room." Lydia's answer made Stiles' heart soar and whatever fear he'd felt before was entirely gone. A type of strength filled him, a strength that made him feel as confident as the suns ability to provide light. The sun room came into view and it was vacant, it was perfect because Stiles couldn't imagine other people being around as this took place. Stiles stayed quiet as Lydia led him to a corner near a huge window that overlooked Beacon Hills. Was it possible that Lydia was just as nervous as he was? They came to a stop and Lydia kept a tight grip on his hand but didn't look at him. Instead she stared at the view in front of her, with Stiles standing behind her trying to understand what was going on.

"Would you believe me when I told you that I'm terrified right now?" Lydia asked him, keeping her face forward. Her question sent a surge of concern through Stiles, the urge to ease her fear was overwhelming and he took a step forward. He reached his free hand out and set it on her shoulder, brushing a stray curl away from her neck causing her to shiver. Without a word, Stiles squeezed her shoulder in an attempt to let her know that he wasn't going anywhere, "I'm afraid of a lot of things, Stiles. I'm afraid of the fact that I almost died, I'm afraid of getting the tuition money to go to Stanford, I'm afraid of how being a Banshee is going to effect my adult life..." Lydia paused to breathe in deeply, "But mostly I'm afraid of how I feel about you." Lydia's voice began to shake slightly. Stiles took that as a cue to release his hands from her completely, only to reach his strong arms around her tiny waist, being careful of her wound and Lydia fell back into him. As their hearts began to beat together and their breathing coincided, Stiles finally spoke.

"I guess we're just going to have to be terrified together, then." The moment the words left his lips, Lydia turned her body so she was looking into his eyes. It was then that Stiles noticed the outfit she had on and the necklace he'd given her for her birthday years ago. Stiles kept his stance firm as Lydia reached her hands delicately up his chest so they were resting on his neck, with her thumbs grazing his lips.

"Do you remember that time I kissed you to help stop your panic attack?" Lydia's voice shook, as if afraid of what she was about to say.

"How could I forget?" Stiles kept his voice soothing as he leaned his head to the left and brushed a stray hair out of her face.

"Could you do that for me?" Stiles had never seen Lydia so scared, not since... but he didn't let himself finish that thought. Instead he brought his hands up to cup her cheeks. Lydia's eye shut, "Please, Stiles?" Not able to see her suffer any longer, Stiles pressed his lips to Lydia's. He felt her entire body go weak against him and Stiles wrapped his right arm around her waist to support her. As Stiles kissed Lydia, he felt a sense of closure. When he felt that she was entirely calmed down, Stiles pulled lips away from hers, taking note that Lydia's eyes stayed shut for longer. Exactly like the first time they had kissed.

"Better?" He asked her and she shook her head but a coy smile played on her lips, "Still anxious?"

"I think just to be on the safe side you're going to have to do that on a full time basis... you know Beacon Hills can be a scary place and you never know when I'm going to need you to bring me back," Lydia's eyes opened and Stiles could see the love he had for her mirrored in her face. With new confidence, Stiles took her lips back in his and he felt Lydia's arms tighten around his neck. It was safe to say that Lydia was cured, that there was nothing anxious about her moves now.

"You know... this is a public visiting room," Scott's voice interrupted the pair and Stiles broke away from Lydia, lipstick now stained his own lips, "I mean I would say get a room but... that's just too easy." There was a smile on Scott's face as Stiles attempted to recover. Lydia was fixing her outfit and patting her hair down. For the first time ever, Stiles had no idea what to say and it seemed like Lydia didn't either.

"Did you find them?" Liam Dunbar's voice sounded from behind Scott and he appeared, eating a Snicker's bar, "Oh, yeah it looks like you did."

"I thought I told you to wait with Kira," Scott mumbled to Liam before making a face at the candy in Liam's hand, "Don't have you have a sensitivity to chocolate?" Scott forgot about Lydia and Stiles to pay attention to his Beta.

"As long as I only eat one bar or like... five in a day." Liam went to take another bite but Scott snatched it away from him, "HEY!"

"Chocolate effects your transformations for some strange reason so... I'm putting my foot down."

"Way to ruin a moment," Liam rolled his eyes before looking at Lydia and Stiles, "Let me guess, he walked in on you two making out didn't he?"

"LIAM." Scott reprimanded like a father to his teenage son.

"What? Hey guys, if it was me I would have turned and walked the other way, I swear."

"I'm ordering you to go keep Kira company," Scott ran a hand over his eyes and Liam made a face.

"Give me my candy bar back," Liam stood his ground.

"For the Love of GOD," Stiles left Lydia's side, pulled out his wallet and handed Liam a 20, "Here, take this and go buy as many Snickers, Twix, Butterfingers, and whatever else your heart wants. Just go away so we can have grown up time."

"For the millionth time... you guys are only a few years older than me... when are you going to stop treating me like a kid?!" Liam huffed as he snatched the money from Stiles.

"Maybe when you stop eating Snickers for dinner!"

"You eat Snickers for Dinner sometimes too, Stiles," Scott reminded him.

"Don't..." Stiles warned as Liam finally hurried away after wishing Lydia well. Once Liam was out of ear shot, Stiles gave Scott a thumbs up, "See? Aren't you lucky that Liam get's an uncle like me?"

"AHEM." Lydia cleared her throat loudly and Stiles was suddenly reminded why he was there in the first place.

"Scott, could you maybe... give us... a moment?" Stiles could see the admiration in Scott's eyes; something in his best friends face seemed to be bursting with pride, "Why are you looking at me like that?" Stiles lowered his voice.

"Because you did it, Stiles." Scott reached over to pat his best friends shoulder.

"I did what?"

"She loves you man." Scott gave him a wink and then looked over at Lydia, "I can't tell you how happy I am that you're alive, Lydia. The pack could never lose you and we're going to get you some training so you can defend yourself. In the mean time..." Scott paused to glance at Stiles, "You're in good hands." Lydia smiled at Stiles before turning to Scott.

"Yes I am," She added and Stiles felt his cheeks go red.

"Alright... I'll let you guys get back to being adorable. But people are starting to show up to visit you, Lydia so you might wanna-"

"We've got it, Scott. No worries," Lydia gave him a thankful smile.

"Thanks Buddy," Stiles sent Scott a smile as well.

"Congratulations by the way." Scott disappeared down the hall and Stiles turned back to Lydia. An elderly couple had entered the room during the exchange with Liam so they were no longer alone. Taking notice that Lydia looked a bit disappointed, Stiles went to her.

"What's wrong?"

"Well... we're not alone anymore." Lydia pouted, "And I don't wanna make out with you in front of an older couple, that would just be rude." Her admission made Stiles chuckle before he turned serious.

"Tell you what, you've got only one day left in here so I have a question for you."

"What's that?"

"Lydia Martin, would you do me the honors of letting me take you out on a proper date?" Stiles' heart hammered in his chest. He'd dreamed of this moment countless time and in every fantasy, Lydia said no because he'd always aspired to stay realistic. As if sensing his panic, Lydia reached up on her tip toes to place a warm kiss against his quivering lips. Stiles was taken into a place of warmth and sunshine and his heart exploded when Lydia pressed her lips to his ear and answered.

"I thought you'd never ask."


End file.
